RIP Mary

Well, I have some sad news.  Our beloved class pet Mary passed away what I can only hope was peacefully in the night on Saturday. 

**BEFORE I CONTINUE** if there are any parents of students in my class reading this, please DO NOT tell your child that Mary died.  When they notice she is missing, I have planned an elaborate lie to cover her death that includes many educational opportunities, that and I don't want to have to explain death to my kids right now.  So I am going with: She ran away to Mexico because it was too cold here.  Pretty believable if you ask me.

Anyways back to the story. I arose Sunday morning like any other.  Tired-eyed and groggy I made my way through my morning not suspecting a thing was amiss in the harmonious land of hamsters.  As afternoon rolled around I began my weekly cleaning of the hamster cages.  I grabbed the two-story cage Nick and Mary resided in and began to open the top penthouse that Mary occupied.  I opened up the penthouse.  Mary was not moving.  Mary was not breathing.  Mary... was DEAD.  I poked her hoping that she was a shallow breather and perhaps in a deeeeeeep sleep.  No luck.  Stiff as a board, I picked her up and shouted "OH JEEZE", more or less lamenting on the fact that now we had one less hamster in the classroom than expressing actual grief.  As one quite observant student pointed out recently, I don't really seem to LOVE my hamsters all that much.  He was right.  While they provide our classroom with endless entertainment and a reason to come to school on Fridays (hamster party days), the carting back and forth, traveling to Ontario and back and sometimes distraction in the classroom had me at times a little resentful of their presence.  So anyways, now I was left to pick up the pieces. 

I quickly alerted the group iMessage chat of the passing of our dear Mary.  Most were heartbroken, how did this happen? Was Nick to blame?  What will I do with the body?  Well, I think Nick probably WAS to blame and I will let your imaginations fill in those blanks.  As for her earthly remains, I quickly put them into a recycled cottage cheese container and texted a friend with a hungry snake.  It seems morbid and barbaric I know, but this is the Great White North and believe it or not, food for snakes is hard to come by, especially in winter!  So I did what any good environmentalist would do and handed Mary over to become sustenance for another one of Earth's creatures.  It's the circle of life people!!  That and the ground is covered by a at least 6 inches of permafrost right now and I don't particularly feel like keeping a dead hamster in my freezer until I can break ground for a June burial. 

Anyways, so now that Mary is dead I am anxiously awaiting the moment that the students realize she is gone.  1 day down and no one has raised an eyebrow.  I feverishly avoid hamster talk and hope that my re-directions will last me until they forget we even had a second hamster.... yeah right.

Rest in peace sweet Mary.