Because I know you care...

Finally. Finally I have been diagnosed. If you have been following my journey through the land of poor health and pain in the recent weeks, you will know that I have gone through a number of diagnoses (real and imagined) as well as deep levels of pain. But finally, I have been properly diagnosed by a professional and am on the road to recovery!

There is a catch however. No longer can I go around telling people when they ask me what the heck is wrong with me that I hurt this nerve or did this to my hip. Oh no. No. For you see I have damaged and enflamed my sacral joint. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I have broken...(dramatic pause)...my ass. 

Laugh it up! This kind of thing only happens to me as we now by now so are you really surprised? Shall I list some of the things that have happened to me that could really only occur in a movie about a girl with exceptionally bad luck who happens to be redeemed when she meets the love of her life in a remote northern community? (Okay so I'm mixing fiction and reality here...)

- I slipped and fell on a banana peel in front of busy Toronto traffic once

- I am allergic to cockroaches

- I have a weird rash/large hard tube under my skin on my arm

- Got shingles on my chesticle 

- My 1 hamster turned into 9, 2 freaky blind ones, one tried swimming without having learned to swim yet, 1 classroom pet dead. 

- My cat committed suicide 

- I had to shave my dogs butt last night 

I'll stop there and let that percolate with you. 

Needless to say I have decided I am a bad luck magnet and one day I hope my luck will turn around and I'll find my true love in the north and I can look at banana peels without fear and trepidation. 

Back to my broken butt. I was extremely lucky to be at the clinic after-hours at the same time as the town physiotherapist last Friday and she saw me immediately. She performed a thorough exam and figured out the cause of all my pain. I was overjoyed at her ability to do so and she began physiotherapy right away. I have been following her directions and taking her advice and have seen a remarkable improvement in my pain and mobility. I am no longer on crutches or a cane and sleeping better at night. Ice has become my best friend and I only walk with a slight limp now! Squeezing in physiotherapy during clinic hours isn't easy and my principal has been very accommodating and I am truly appreciative. Luckily I am missing no teaching time and am being seen multiple times a week! Thank goodness for people who know what they are doing because I was ready to go all pirate on this leg and have a stick prosthetic for the rest of my life. 

Just thought I'd fill you in!

On another note, I received a glorious care package from my wonderful BFF Katherine today. I totally forgot it was coming in the mail and it was such a lovely surprise. A real pick-me-up after several weeks of stress and discomfort. She knows me so well and packed the box full of goodies and things that totally put me in a good mood!

This weekend was also pretty nice, I stayed in and rested my weary behind, got lots of work done at school and saw a great live performance by the great Wemindji local garage band "Tuesday Barbecue" at a benefit for the 'MES Goes to Nicaragua' trip. It was an awesome night with seriously awesome music. 

This weekend I have reserved for cleaning my house, doing my taxes and starting and finishing 2 class sets of report cards (since my teaching partner is on medical leave). It will be busy but I plan on taking all of these tasks on in full PJ and hot chocolate mode which makes it a little more bearable.  

Well that's all I can really manage for now, slumber beckons and I've got a busy day of testing, grammar, assemblies and cupcakes (do I give them cupcakes before they go to Gym or before the assembly....)

When life hands you lemons, you take muscle relaxants.

Well. Web MD is a magical thing. After a couple of weeks of believing I had sciatica, I realize I was misdiagnosed and sorely (pun intended) mistaken. Several trips to the clinic proved unsuccessful and this anti-inflammatory and that painkiller proved unhelpful. I decided to do a little research of my own as some light bedtime reading and low and behold, I have diagnosed myself with a Hip Labral Tear!  Yes it is as painful as it sounds and is about as untreatable as sciatica so I'm kinda stuck there. Since I play no sports, this kind of injury can be attributed to one thing, and one thing only. SHOVELING. Repeated stress movements at the hip can cause the tissues to tear around the ball in the socket of ones hip. Think of the repetitive injuries golfers or hockey players would get from the same kind of wear and tear on their hips. So what I am basically trying to get across is the fact that I shovel the driveway LIKE A BOSS and now I have a athlete-style injury to match. I am a mix between proud and embarrassed but either way still in chronic pain. Every day is better and I am looking forward to the day when I can put on my undies without pain!

So what else is new. Well this week we have been hit with a literal heat wave! With temperatures rising to the low -10s, the snow has begun to fall once again and we can finally go out doors for recess!! One of my students actually cried because we hadn't been outside in so long. I felt terrible so today we spent recess at a giant nightmare-inducing-lawsuit-waiting-to-happen snow hill!  With the fresh blankets of light, fluffy snow, the poop graveyard on my front deck that Bobo has lovingly adopted as his personal toilet has been disguised! When the temperature falls to -40, precious boy takes as little time as possible to take care of business and that means my deck becomes a toilet. What a sweetheart. 

Things at school are trotting right along. As busy as ever, my class is positively shining! They are eating up new concepts, enthusiastic about learning and participating whole heartedly. We are heavy into grammar right now which can be pretty boring but I am getting tons of great ideas from some awesome colleagues and it's turning out to be not so bad after all! Today we wrote a short "how-to" text, "How to Blow a Bubble", which of course necessitated the chewing of gum and blowing of many bubbles in order to make sure the steps were correct ;) 

We are also doing lots of basic review for upcoming standardized math and language testing. Not the most fun but the kids are patient and we try and make the tedious practice fun and rewarding. I have also started to PM Benchmark again (a reading and comprehension testing program) both grade 2 classes which is turning out pretty well! It's great to see the progress that the kids have made over the last few months as well as conclude with some tips for instruction to further improve their reading and comprehension skills!

Anyways, I plan on really not leaving my house this weekend so I can lay flat and ice and stretch my poor hip back to life. Wish me luck!! 

  Ever good friend bringing in my groceries for me in my fragile state!!!

Perma-snow until we cross the freezing point!!

15 foot snow drift beside my house!

Bobo chillin' like a villain in the road. No biggie. 

My latest accessory. 

Ever classy!!

Sucky Sciatica

Well, I have finally sunk to a new low in health helplessness.  I know you've heard it all before.  I have got bad karma.  Bad as in so-bad-only-this-stuff-happens-to-evil-dictators-and-puppy-killers-BAD.  I am now the reluctant body host to sciatica! Yes, similarly sounding like a New York prison and just as restrictive in the mind, body and spirit, I can now officially call myself a sciatica sufferer. 

Now don't get me wrong, I may make this sound like it is no big deal.  But that would be a lie.  A LIE.  Never in my short life have I ever felt pain as severe, excruciating and agonizing as I have in the recent days.  What went from manageable yet extremely uncomfortable jolts of pain from my hip downwards when getting up from a seated position quickly became a relentless and unmanageable pain and an unusable left leg altogether.  Yesterday was perhaps the most painful day I had in my almost 3 week journey through nerve hell.  Sitting really aggravates this condition for me, and sitting through the majority of a PED day for training and professional development and planning did me in.  By the end of the day I was unable to walk unassisted (by either my makeshift cane aka a broom or Monika's kind shoulder).  I was able to drive myself to the clinic and see a nurse who confirmed my worst suspicions after what I would call a slightly uncomfortable examination of my back (I wore my ugly granny bra, great) and upper buttocks area.  Sending me on my way with some anti-inflammatories and a handful of precious, precious painkillers, I got myself home and took almost 7 minutes to get from my car to the front door.  Excruciating.  Then I was stuck in the vestibule of my house for about 10 minutes while I tried to figure out how to take off my boots since I could now put NO weight on my leg whatsoever, nor bend nor lift my leg. Bobo making awkward glances at me and rolling over on the floor asking for tummy rubs was not making things any better.  Eventually I made it to the kitchen where I used a chair to support my weight while I chugged some pills and tried to warm up some dinner (both endeavors a success)  An hour later I was in the living room (a 3 second jaunt for an able bodied person).

Surely the painkillers must be doing something, you may wonder.  Well, "Although medicines are commonly prescribed for the treatment of sciatica, evidence for analgesics is poor. Specifically, NSAIDs do not appear to improve immediate pain and all NSAIDs appear about equivalent. Evidence is also lacking in use of opioids and muscle relaxants. In those with sciatica due to piriformis syndrome, botulism toxin injections may improve pain and or function."  So basically I need an epidural or Botox in my spine if I really want relief!! After doing further research I disappointingly discovered that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.  This is one of my favorite exercise vs. resting treatment opinions: "There does not appear to be a significant difference in outcomes between advice to stay active and recommendations of bed rest.  Similarly, physical therapy (exercises) has not been found better than bed rest.^"

So there's that. 

I spent the night in a single position in bed, trying my best not to move and aggravate my leg.  I made it through the night and realized the next morning (today) that my chair/walker was not cutting it and I needed crutches.  So I called the clinic and they kindly lent me a pair that Carmen sooo wonderfully picked up for me at lunch time.  Life changing event people.  Now I was upwardly mobile! Going to the bathroom, a breeze! Getting from point A to point B, no sweat! Oh wait that must be the painkillers talking.  Yes, crutches improved my quality of life drastically however I did have to call in sick (MY FIRST TIME EVER) and miss a second PED day.  I am very lucky this "episode" (as I will call it) happened on a double PED day and weekend.  I can take the time to rest, stretch, recover and sleep off what I hope will be the end of a very painful couple of weeks.

Now on to some very sad news.  My Grandad Jack Morgan (many of you Brookdale alums may remember him reading to our classes on a weekly basis) has recently been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  With no viable treatment options he has been given not long to live and this news has devastated our small and close-knit family.  Grandad is the patriarch and has always been a constant and reliable support to all of us.  He is the sun and we are the planets that revolve around him.  He has lived a life full of adventure and is the greatest story teller I ever met.  His love for the stage saw him in dozens of productions, many of which I was privileged and proud to see.  That's my Grandad up there!  Upon hearing this news my mother immediately got on the next flight out of Wemindji to spend time with my Grandad while she still could.  It was not an easy decision for her to make.  Having committed herself to the classroom and undergone a real change in outlook on life and priorities, she was torn.  We all knew deep down inside that the classroom would still be there when she returned, and that time with one's father at a critical moment like this was far more important.  So now I am home alone with Bobo and the house has never felt so quiet.  I spoke to Grandad the other night for a few minutes and it is clear the impact my mother's returning has made on him.  He sounded happier, lighter and more positive.  Neither of us knowing what to say or how to address his terminal illness, we made small talk but it was really nice to hear his voice.  My mother will remain at his side, bringing him dinner, taking him for walks, smuggling in beer, while my aunties will take much needed breaks and regroup after working so hard to take care of him in my mother's absence.  I wish I could go home to see him but I am hoping that I will be able to Skype in very soon and see his face. 

My lovely Grandad

Preparing for Valentine's Day celebrations next week in class.

The view from my bedroom window. 

100th Day this week, a lot of 100 fun!

Marsha and Monika took 100 to a whole new level.

Bobo selfie

My sweet ride at the clinic.

My walker.

Sent from the heavens above!

Valentine's Day - no comment.

When life hands you sciatica, you get lazy on your festive door traditions.

Looked behind me in the library during a PED day meeting and low and behold look what I find!  A tale involving my two favorite things: wine and hamsters!!

A good little nurse who is basically useless.

RIP Mary

Well, I have some sad news.  Our beloved class pet Mary passed away what I can only hope was peacefully in the night on Saturday. 

**BEFORE I CONTINUE** if there are any parents of students in my class reading this, please DO NOT tell your child that Mary died.  When they notice she is missing, I have planned an elaborate lie to cover her death that includes many educational opportunities, that and I don't want to have to explain death to my kids right now.  So I am going with: She ran away to Mexico because it was too cold here.  Pretty believable if you ask me.

Anyways back to the story. I arose Sunday morning like any other.  Tired-eyed and groggy I made my way through my morning not suspecting a thing was amiss in the harmonious land of hamsters.  As afternoon rolled around I began my weekly cleaning of the hamster cages.  I grabbed the two-story cage Nick and Mary resided in and began to open the top penthouse that Mary occupied.  I opened up the penthouse.  Mary was not moving.  Mary was not breathing.  Mary... was DEAD.  I poked her hoping that she was a shallow breather and perhaps in a deeeeeeep sleep.  No luck.  Stiff as a board, I picked her up and shouted "OH JEEZE", more or less lamenting on the fact that now we had one less hamster in the classroom than expressing actual grief.  As one quite observant student pointed out recently, I don't really seem to LOVE my hamsters all that much.  He was right.  While they provide our classroom with endless entertainment and a reason to come to school on Fridays (hamster party days), the carting back and forth, traveling to Ontario and back and sometimes distraction in the classroom had me at times a little resentful of their presence.  So anyways, now I was left to pick up the pieces. 

I quickly alerted the group iMessage chat of the passing of our dear Mary.  Most were heartbroken, how did this happen? Was Nick to blame?  What will I do with the body?  Well, I think Nick probably WAS to blame and I will let your imaginations fill in those blanks.  As for her earthly remains, I quickly put them into a recycled cottage cheese container and texted a friend with a hungry snake.  It seems morbid and barbaric I know, but this is the Great White North and believe it or not, food for snakes is hard to come by, especially in winter!  So I did what any good environmentalist would do and handed Mary over to become sustenance for another one of Earth's creatures.  It's the circle of life people!!  That and the ground is covered by a at least 6 inches of permafrost right now and I don't particularly feel like keeping a dead hamster in my freezer until I can break ground for a June burial. 

Anyways, so now that Mary is dead I am anxiously awaiting the moment that the students realize she is gone.  1 day down and no one has raised an eyebrow.  I feverishly avoid hamster talk and hope that my re-directions will last me until they forget we even had a second hamster.... yeah right.

Rest in peace sweet Mary.

Fantastic February!

Well January is in the bag and besides the odd fire and frosty morning, not much has happened. Its the first month of four without major breaks until the sweet beloved Goose Break, so to have made the headway in the classroom that we have has been rewarding!! School is carrying along as fast as ever and the month of February is looking just as BUSY. However, February is packed with PED days and parties so who am I really to complain!!

With our 100th day of school coming up a bunch of us teachers in primary and elementary have a day filled with fun activities to celebrate our hard work in 100 days of school with all things 100! One of my personal favorites: "Draw yourself as a 100 year old Goo Goo (grandma) or 100 year old Joomshoom (grandpa)." It'll be nice to split up a month heavy with school board-ordered testing and assessing with some fun!  Following 100th Day we have the ever exciting Valentine's Day celebration and swimming at the end of the month! The kids LIVE for our monthly swimming trips and being able to have great incentives (aka bribes) can magically inspire some reluctant and uninspired students! Who knew!

Last night I spent the evening baking up a storm for the second "MES Goes to Nicaragua" spaghetti fundraiser! 88 banana chocolate chip muffins and a double chocolate cake later I was pooped but hopefully contributed something useful to a great cause!! 

Things are going well with my mom next door teaching the other grade 2 class! We are still doing lots of team teaching, planning and of course the ever entertaining marking together. With report cards just around the corner we are working hard to get some marks in!

On a side note, I have seemed to have either pinched a nerve or done something to my sciatic nerve or have advanced stage leg cancer because I am currently experiencing the most excruciating pain known to man. A week of this and I am ready to go '127 Hours' on this mother (Cred to Eryl). Anyways if anyone knows a cure for deep, excruciating pain whenever I do ANYTHING that isn't what I've already tried (heat, stretching, staying off it, staying on it, heavy doses of painkiller) I'm ALLL ears!! 

So I've noticed that Carmonika never really regained her girlish figure after becoming Wemindji's Octo-Mom and birthing 8 inconvenient children. This led me to realize that she doesn't get much exercise and perhaps that was because she lacked the space (and wheel) necessary to get in some true calisthenics.  Her ball would suffice but since Bobo seems to think she is some kind of mini puppy that wants to be tasted constantly, letting her roll around in a clear treat ball didn't seem like such a great idea. So I did some online pet store shopping and got the best multi-leveled home for a hammy that money could buy, complete with a wheel! Carmonika, you will be bikini ready in no time! This new home will also free up a new apartment for Nick, one of Carmonika's offspring. Nick is...well Nick is determined. He is in sweet sick love with his own sister and recently I found them....together. Their cages are connected but separated and they can't usually get together but as I mentioned, Nick is determined and well bingo bango and the time has come to provide them with their own solitary, fully detached homes. 

Happy February!!

Mummy and I on Jersey Day! Represent!!

Thanks Oprah.