Sucky Sciatica

Well, I have finally sunk to a new low in health helplessness.  I know you've heard it all before.  I have got bad karma.  Bad as in so-bad-only-this-stuff-happens-to-evil-dictators-and-puppy-killers-BAD.  I am now the reluctant body host to sciatica! Yes, similarly sounding like a New York prison and just as restrictive in the mind, body and spirit, I can now officially call myself a sciatica sufferer. 

Now don't get me wrong, I may make this sound like it is no big deal.  But that would be a lie.  A LIE.  Never in my short life have I ever felt pain as severe, excruciating and agonizing as I have in the recent days.  What went from manageable yet extremely uncomfortable jolts of pain from my hip downwards when getting up from a seated position quickly became a relentless and unmanageable pain and an unusable left leg altogether.  Yesterday was perhaps the most painful day I had in my almost 3 week journey through nerve hell.  Sitting really aggravates this condition for me, and sitting through the majority of a PED day for training and professional development and planning did me in.  By the end of the day I was unable to walk unassisted (by either my makeshift cane aka a broom or Monika's kind shoulder).  I was able to drive myself to the clinic and see a nurse who confirmed my worst suspicions after what I would call a slightly uncomfortable examination of my back (I wore my ugly granny bra, great) and upper buttocks area.  Sending me on my way with some anti-inflammatories and a handful of precious, precious painkillers, I got myself home and took almost 7 minutes to get from my car to the front door.  Excruciating.  Then I was stuck in the vestibule of my house for about 10 minutes while I tried to figure out how to take off my boots since I could now put NO weight on my leg whatsoever, nor bend nor lift my leg. Bobo making awkward glances at me and rolling over on the floor asking for tummy rubs was not making things any better.  Eventually I made it to the kitchen where I used a chair to support my weight while I chugged some pills and tried to warm up some dinner (both endeavors a success)  An hour later I was in the living room (a 3 second jaunt for an able bodied person).

Surely the painkillers must be doing something, you may wonder.  Well, "Although medicines are commonly prescribed for the treatment of sciatica, evidence for analgesics is poor. Specifically, NSAIDs do not appear to improve immediate pain and all NSAIDs appear about equivalent. Evidence is also lacking in use of opioids and muscle relaxants. In those with sciatica due to piriformis syndrome, botulism toxin injections may improve pain and or function."  So basically I need an epidural or Botox in my spine if I really want relief!! After doing further research I disappointingly discovered that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.  This is one of my favorite exercise vs. resting treatment opinions: "There does not appear to be a significant difference in outcomes between advice to stay active and recommendations of bed rest.  Similarly, physical therapy (exercises) has not been found better than bed rest.^"

So there's that. 

I spent the night in a single position in bed, trying my best not to move and aggravate my leg.  I made it through the night and realized the next morning (today) that my chair/walker was not cutting it and I needed crutches.  So I called the clinic and they kindly lent me a pair that Carmen sooo wonderfully picked up for me at lunch time.  Life changing event people.  Now I was upwardly mobile! Going to the bathroom, a breeze! Getting from point A to point B, no sweat! Oh wait that must be the painkillers talking.  Yes, crutches improved my quality of life drastically however I did have to call in sick (MY FIRST TIME EVER) and miss a second PED day.  I am very lucky this "episode" (as I will call it) happened on a double PED day and weekend.  I can take the time to rest, stretch, recover and sleep off what I hope will be the end of a very painful couple of weeks.

Now on to some very sad news.  My Grandad Jack Morgan (many of you Brookdale alums may remember him reading to our classes on a weekly basis) has recently been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  With no viable treatment options he has been given not long to live and this news has devastated our small and close-knit family.  Grandad is the patriarch and has always been a constant and reliable support to all of us.  He is the sun and we are the planets that revolve around him.  He has lived a life full of adventure and is the greatest story teller I ever met.  His love for the stage saw him in dozens of productions, many of which I was privileged and proud to see.  That's my Grandad up there!  Upon hearing this news my mother immediately got on the next flight out of Wemindji to spend time with my Grandad while she still could.  It was not an easy decision for her to make.  Having committed herself to the classroom and undergone a real change in outlook on life and priorities, she was torn.  We all knew deep down inside that the classroom would still be there when she returned, and that time with one's father at a critical moment like this was far more important.  So now I am home alone with Bobo and the house has never felt so quiet.  I spoke to Grandad the other night for a few minutes and it is clear the impact my mother's returning has made on him.  He sounded happier, lighter and more positive.  Neither of us knowing what to say or how to address his terminal illness, we made small talk but it was really nice to hear his voice.  My mother will remain at his side, bringing him dinner, taking him for walks, smuggling in beer, while my aunties will take much needed breaks and regroup after working so hard to take care of him in my mother's absence.  I wish I could go home to see him but I am hoping that I will be able to Skype in very soon and see his face. 

My lovely Grandad

Preparing for Valentine's Day celebrations next week in class.

The view from my bedroom window. 

100th Day this week, a lot of 100 fun!

Marsha and Monika took 100 to a whole new level.

Bobo selfie

My sweet ride at the clinic.

My walker.

Sent from the heavens above!

Valentine's Day - no comment.

When life hands you sciatica, you get lazy on your festive door traditions.

Looked behind me in the library during a PED day meeting and low and behold look what I find!  A tale involving my two favorite things: wine and hamsters!!

A good little nurse who is basically useless.